Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Barnyard Boogie

Today is the first installment of a new series I shall pen, called the dances I do.

Today we are discussing the Barnyard Boogie.  Not to be confused with the Shed Slide or the Icy Jive - we'll get to those.

Here are the details of how to properly do the Barnyard Boogie.

1. Drive into farmer's yard and pray that you are parked on a "safe" spot.
2. Grab all your gear: clipboard, papers, pen & pencil.
3. Step from the vehicle and pray that you stay standing.
4. Inch around the door, because of course there is no "safe" spot to park in a farmer's driveway in March.
5. Shut the door and realize that the momentum of shutting the door causes you to be propelled away from the car.
6. Use your arms to steady yourself.
7. Inch your way around in a circle and shuffle towards a spot in the yard that looks a little rougher than every other piece of glare ice.
8. Hope that you don't have to walk between buildings and that you can somehow manage to see their cows, calves, and equipment from the same doorway.
9. Of course you can't go in one doorway and see what you need to see, so repeat steps 6 & 7 as many times as needed to complete today's farm visit.
10. Then, proceed to boogie your way back to the vehicle.

The art involved is totally about timing.  If you are thinking Barnyard Boogie, but the dance floor is set up for the Shed Slid or the Icy Jive - you're sunk.

Luckily, for me, today was a day of Barnyard Boogie.  After it warms up a little more today and then freezes again over night, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to be in a Shed Slide mindset.

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