No Ordinary Picture

As you can plainly see THIS is no ordinary picture.

In fact, "This is no ordinary pisher.  I made it with LOTS and LOTS uv Love."

I Love You

I am loved.

I have proof.

Bug told me, "I love you more than pirates and popsicles."

What Mom needs more proof that that?

300 Milein Dolrs

I came in the house last night from doing chores and a piece of paper was on the table.

It read:  300 Milein Dolrs Sid By S.  (Translation 300 million dollars signed by S. (Bug))

"Hey, Bug!  What's this for?"

"The Betty Book!"

The 'Betty Book' is my Betty Crocker cookbook that I have scribbled in, written extra recipes in, crossed things out or added, dribbled various foodstuffs on....a.k.a. THE Cookbook.

My children have been laying claim to MY cookbook ever since we told them that you can leave certain people certain things in your will.  (We are going through an estate settlement after my Aunt and Uncle passing away.)

Now, her quick, happy response of "The Betty Book!" had me a bit worried.  Was she holding MY cookbook ransom for 300 Milein Dolrs?

So, very tentatively, I asked her, "What is this for?"

Her response, accompanied by her extremely evil, movie-quality witch cackle, was, "I paid you for the Betty Book, so now it's mine. mwa ha ha!"  (To make this even more funny, when she does her witch cackle, it is embellished with her hands held out and curled into gnarled witch hands.)

You know, for 300 Milein Dolrs - that book is hers!


I called my Dad to tell him that I was now RICH!!!!!!  He was laughing and told me to ask Bug (6) if she could make the recipes in there.

Her reply was priceless, "Probably, if not, I'll just wing it!"

What to do with Picky Kids????

Picky kids.

Wait, that is not exactly true, as I only have one PICKY kid.

That would be Bug, my middle child, my sweet child, my "don't-let-my-food-touch" child.

She likes Daddy's homemade bread, but not mine.  (His is better, but it's almost the same.)

She doesn't like weird vegetables like brussel sprouts - wait, neither do I.

She doesn't like homemade stuff, unless she helps homemake it.

I was making homemade goat's milk ricotta last week, which actually turned out very well. I was offering everyone a taste of it and this is the conversation that I had with Bug:

"Try this."

"Nope."

"But I made it."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I know where that milk came from.  It came from the 'gutter' on our goat.  I'm not eating it. I only eat stuff from the store."

"Where do you think the milk from the store comes from?"

"The store."

"Milk from the store comes from cows.

"I don't see the cow or it's 'gutter,' so the milk from the store comes from the store."

(I didn't tell her that the lasagna we had used most of the ricotta I made from goat's milk.)

Toothless

Guess we're going to start calling Bug - Toothless.  The first baby tooth came out today!  (and with only a little nudge from Mom)

And since someone seemed to use the camera for multiple self portraits the other day, I have plenty of options to choose from for the before shots.

oh wait, no teeth in this one

Lots of teeth in this one

ALL teeth in this one, and her cute nose

And then, the great reveal of the toothless wonder:

see, it's that hole on her front lower right

She is sooooo excited!  We've already called Grandpa to let him know.  We've already shown the neighbors.

Luckily, there was only root left on one side of the tooth, and luckily it was on the back, so when we pushed it forward, it actually moved and came out.  I had a horrible time when I was little with my roots not dissolving, so had to have the dentist pull a bunch of my baby teeth.  Keeping my fingers crossed that this won't happen for my girls.

Plumber's Crack

In an effort to be self-effacing, I will tell you a story (not of a man named Jed) from the mouth of babe.  To make it even better, it has the chance to be incredibly embarrassing for me, but I'm choosing to not let it be.

So, here it is:

As a bit of background:  I'm a plus-sized gal with a plus-sized chest.  As a stay-at-home-mom, I can wear whatever I'm comfortable in, which during the summer, is pretty much all tank tops all the time.

Now that you have the background.

We were sitting at the table after enjoying supper about a week ago.  Bug looks at me, turns away, and switches back to look at me again.

"Mom, I see plumber's crack!"

"No, you don't!"

"Yes, I do!  It's in the front!"

So, my darling daughter saw my cleavage and referred to it as frontal plumber's crack.

I guess it's better than being called "Boulder Boobs" like I was in 6th grade.

Just Another Day

Managed to sweep the floor this morning (ok, should this be noteworthy, NO, was it - not really, but I'm getting there)  to which Fixit responded by looking at the apple she was halfway through, looking at the floor and dropping her apple on the floor.

She picked up her apple, examined it, and gave me the thumbs up.  Then, I was told that I did a good job, because she could still eat her apple - no dog hair.

She did this on PURPOSE.

Hmmmm - small children confuse me at times.


At lunch, Bug gives me this entirely serious look.  Not just a pay attention to me look, this was you better pay attention to what I'm going to say to you look.  She proceeded to say, "This, this, is just not typical."  But this wasn't said in my 5 yo's sweet voice, it was said in a quite impressive British accent.  I'm still not sure what wasn't "typical." but as I sat trying to figure her out, she cracked up and told me that it was hilarious.

Yep, middlish children confuse me, too.

Vegas?!

I'm really hoping that this little getup doesn't mean that I have a Vegas Showgirl in my future.

Actually, she'd be a pretty sedate showgirl in her hoodie and flowery dress.  It's just the feathery headdress that has me a tad worried.

Treasure

I was helping my Mom at my Aunt's house this past weekend, and I missed my kids. (My Aunt had to have emergency surgery and it doesn't look good for her - she's been in critical condition since Friday.)

So, when I got home, it was nice to see my kids after 3 days of not seeing them. 

I was sitting on my bed when Fixit came up to me and told me she was going on a treasure hunt.  She climbed into my lap, looked at me, and told me that she found her treasure.  It was me!

Awwwwww!!!!  Talk about melting my heart.

Then, Bug came in by me and sat on my lap, too.  She told me to close my eyes, which I did.  Then, I felt her rubbing both sides of my head and said, "Oh, magic ball what do I see."  At this, and the head rubbing, I opened my eyes and she proceded to say, "Eek, I see a head!"

My kids are such goofballs and I love them.

Yarn Along - Bug's Blanket

This is my first Yarn Along with Ginny at small things.  It's going to be crochet for me, because I have to relearn how to knit.  As for what I'm reading, I'm going to admit to a guilty pleasure. In a fit of nostalgia, I ordered a ton of the classic (like from the 40's and 50's) Nancy Drew mysteries from the library.  I love those!

I'm working on a Blanket for Bug.  I just got some of the Tunisian Crochet hooks and started her blanket with those.  I am planning on making it three stripes wide, but I think I'm going to have to redo the first stripe, because it was much looser than the section I'm currently working on.  The outer sections are going to be Red Heart Plum Pudding and the center section is Red Heart Aran.  I think I'm going to do the border in Aran, also, but I'll decide that when I'm that far.

Merry Christmas!

Cue Suspensful Music

You know the kind:  Bum Bum Bum Bum like the English mysteries on PBS.

Yeah, that kind.

I wish I could have gotten a picture of this, but it would have ruined the atmosphere.  It was pretty dramatic around here.

The girls were playing together (nicely, without any yelling).  They all slinked downstairs and were poking into this and poking into that around the living room and kitchen.  Opening drawers. Peering around corners.

Not acting normal (as if such a thing exists in this house).

I sat in my chair and just watched this, scratching my head, and not saying anything.  I was intrigued and had to watch this performance unfold.

Finally, after 10 minutes of watching them sneak, slink, investigate, I couldn't take it anymore.  Especially since they weren't really saying anything.  I'd catch a snippet of "Hmmm, not here," or "Keep looking, we MUST find it." 

(Proud Mommy moment, the suspense was killing me, but I didn't blurt out "WHAT!  What are you looking for?")

So, Bug came into the living room and I whispered, literally whispered, to her, "What are you guys doing? I don't know what you are looking for?"

Her whispered response, after glancing around to make sure no one heard her, "Shhh, we're looking for clues."

Which prompted my intelligent, "Huh?"

"Mama, we're detectives and we are looking for clues to solve the mystery."

Consider me clueless at this point, "What mystery?"

Now being looked at with disbelief, "We HAVE to solve the mystery."

By this time, K and Fixit have joined Bug in the living room. Obviously, I was an interruption to the game, but I didn't get it.

So, Bug tries to explain it to her mother, again, "We never fail. We always catch the bad guy. We're going to solve a SISTERY MYSTERY!"

Then, I literally get a song and dance routine about solving the Sistery Mysteries and that they never fail. They'll always find the clues.

I was laughing so hard that I had tears streaming down my face.  What a hoot!  Honestly, how much time and thought had gone into creating the Sistery Mystery Detective Team? (and the related song and dance commercial spot?)  Oh, geez.  I'm not sure how we went from Agatha Christie circa 1980 to a Broadway song and dance routine, but we managed.  Then, after I had been singularly enlightened, they returned to the world of mystery.

Cue the jazz hands.

Painting the Pumpkins

We wanted to try something different this year.  (Like no pumpkin guts, no girls getting grossed how by how pumpkin guts feel, Mom having to dig out all the pumpkin guts) You know - an attempt to add a touch of sanity to pumpkin decorating.

So, we decided to paint the pumpkins this year.  K has been chomping at the bit for a week to get these things painted.  This afternoon, after all involved took naps, except Mom.  We had the plastic tablecloth on the tables and the subjects, er, the pumpkins on the table ready to be analyzed, er, decorated.

K had so much fun doing the first side of her pumpkin that she decided to do both sides.

Bug thought that was a cool plan, and decorated both sides of her pumpkin, too.  She even gave her's freckles!

Fixit came to the party a little late aka she had a REALLY good nap.  She was just as excited as the other girls to give her pumpkin a go.

I think we will be doing this from now on.  Seriously, it took 30 minutes to an hour to do BOTH sides of the pumpkins, no pumpkin goo to clean up from everywhere, and we can stick the pumpkins back out on the deck tomorrow.  Plus, we have like 300 bottles of acrylic paint, so every color imaginable to choose from while making our creations.

P.S. Isn't this the cutest little witch you have ever seen?  Bug did a great job drawing it all by herself.

P.P.S. Trying a couple of new things in the kitchen, too.  Cooked some apples in water and made apple juice.  Tastes really good.  So, I canned that.  On the next batch, I will cook it down more, so that it concentrates more.  Then, I also am trying to make pickled dill garlic.  Everyone fights for the garlic anyway, so I'm trying it.  We need to give it about 3 weeks before we can try it.  Oh yeah, figured out why the refrigerator smelled so strongly of garlic.  I had the garlic cloves covered in water in the fridge.  Two of the cloves must have been bad, because they fermented.  Um, let's just say, that is a really gross odor.  The contents of the entire jar were flushed.  Gaack.